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<!DOCTYPE html>
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<html lang="en">
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8"/>
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<link href="style.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all"/>
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<style type="text/css">
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body {
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margin-top: 0;
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margin-bottom: 0;
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}
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#guys {
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position: fixed;
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bottom: 0;
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left: 3rem;
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font-size: 0;
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}
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#guys > * {
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margin-right: 0.5rem;
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}
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#bubblecolumn {
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position: absolute;
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right: 7%;
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top: 0;
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width: 29px;
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height: 100%;
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background-image: url(images/bubblecolumn1.gif);
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background-repeat: repeat-y;
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}
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@media (prefers-reduced-motion) {
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#bubblecolumn {
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display: none;
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}
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}
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</style>
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<?php
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include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/seasonal.php');
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if(!preg_match('/(headless.*)/i', $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'])) {
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$captions = array();
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$seasonal = false;
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switch(date('m')) {
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case 10:
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$captions = array(
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'Boo!',
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'Happy Halloween!',
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'World\'s ' . rand(1, 1000000) . 'th spookiest website',
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'$spooky_captions[array_rand($spooky_captions)]',
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'I thought I\'d be able to come up with more Halloween captions to be honest',
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'It\'s the Spooky Month™!',
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'I vant to suck your blood! Just kidding... Unless...?',
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'This site uses $_HALLOWEEN_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT'
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);
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$seasonal = true;
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break;
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case 12:
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$captions = array(
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'hoe hoe hoe or some shit',
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'Happy Holidays!',
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'World\'s ' . rand(1, 1000000) . 'th most festive website',
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'Like half of these captions are just lifted wholesale from the Halloween ones',
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'$festive_captions[array_rand($festive_captions)]',
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'Merry Capitalism!',
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'It\'s winter! Nothing else special about this time of year, no siree!',
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'This site uses $_CHRISTMAS_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT... I guess that would just be normal cookies, huh?',
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'Pretend I put Mariah Carey on autoplay here'
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);
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$seasonal = true;
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break;
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default:
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$captions = array(
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'bruh moment',
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'Try reloading!',
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'Supports VPNs',
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'I use arch btw',
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'Stream deep twisty',
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'MySite.html',
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'Over Construction',
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'Real isopod hours',
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'Version 3.0: the Not-Reliant-On-Javascript Update',
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'depytwisty',
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'[object Object]',
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'* You found the [Moss]!',
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'Minceraft',
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'Best viewed with Firefox',
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'Isopod gaming',
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'Website of some "guy"',
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'your mom',
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'Badly programmed',
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'Fuck crypto',
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'Oh, you know ;)',
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'gamer (terminal)',
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'This is not a place of honor',
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'I can type interrobangs, watch‽',
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'ඞ',
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'127.0.0.1',
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'assholes DNI',
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'swag',
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'\'\'',
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'$captions[array_rand($captions)]',
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'NFT bros don\'t FUCKING interact',
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'Kind of dragon free!',
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'This site uses cookies (chocolate chip)',
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'Now with reduced centralization!',
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'your gay',
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'the fuck is a gender',
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'The Only Website',
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'𝓘𝓷𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮!',
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'Follow me on Google+!',
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'404: caption not found',
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'Web π compliant!',
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'If you\'re seeing this, something is seriously wrong.',
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'cringe',
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'don\'t smoke cigarettes kids they\'ll make your lungs sus',
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'real life isopod',
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'',
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'vewified',
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'Verified',
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'COUNTER',
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'TUEADAY',
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'PLACEHIM',
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'UPSIDEDOWN',
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'RGB',
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'BLAHAJ',
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'@BEAT'
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);
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break;
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}
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$cap = $captions[array_rand($captions)];
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if($_GET['caption']) {
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$cap = $_GET['caption'];
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}
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$tit = $cap;
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if(!$seasonal) {
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switch($cap) {
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case 'COUNTER':
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$num = (int) filter_var(file_get_contents("views.txt"), FILTER_SANITIZE_NUMBER_INT);
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$num++;
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file_put_contents("views.txt", $num);
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$cap = "This caption has been viewed $num times!";
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$tit = "This title has been viewed $num times!";
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break;
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case 'TUEADAY':
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$day = array("suday", "moday", "tueaday", "weaday", "thuday", "friaday", "satuaday")[date('w')];
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$cap = "wait it's fucking $day. god.";
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$tit = $cap;
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echo "<style type='text/css'>h1{background-image:url('old/1/images/$day.png');}</style>";
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break;
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case 'PLACEHIM':
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$cap = 'place him on your site immediately';
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$tit = $cap;
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echo "<style type='text/css'>h1{background-image:url('images/place_him.png');}</style>";
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break;
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case 'BLAHAJ':
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$cap = '<img id="blahaj" src="images/blahaj.png"> <a href="https://berrymot.github.io/">certified</a> Good Website by blåhaj';
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$tit = "certified Good Website by blåhaj";
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echo "<style type='text/css'>#blahaj { animation: spin 5s linear infinite; height: 1em; } @keyframes spin { from { transform: rotate(0deg); } to { transform: rotate(360deg); } } @media (prefers-reduced-motion) { #blahaj { animation: none; } }</style>";
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break;
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case 'Verified':
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$cap = '<img src="https://social.isopod.cool/emoji/isomojis/verified.png" style="height: 1em;"/>';
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break;
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case 'vewified':
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$cap = '<img src="https://social.isopod.cool/emoji/isomojis/vewified.png" style="height: 1em;"/>';
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break;
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case 'Kind of dragon free!':
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$cap = '<span class="minecraftsplash">Kind of dragon free!</span>';
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break;
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case 'UPSIDEDOWN':
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$cap = '<span class="flipped">Upside Down!</span>';
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$tit = '¡uʍop ǝpısdn';
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break;
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case 'RGB':
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$cap = '<span class="rainbowtext">RGB Gaming Webpage</span>';
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$tit = 'RGB Gaming Webpage';
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break;
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case '@BEAT':
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$cap = '@'.date("B");
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$tit = $cap;
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break;
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}
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}
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}
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?>
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<title><?php if($tit) { echo "isopod.cool v3 - $tit"; } else { echo "isopod.cool v3"; } ?></title>
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<meta name="description" content="real life isopod">
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</head>
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<body id="centeredcontent">
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<main>
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<h1 style="margin-top: 0;">isopod.cool v3</h1>
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<h2 id="caption"><?php echo $cap; ?></h2>
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<?php include('nav.php'); ?>
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<nav>
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<!--a href="https://webring.yesterweb.org/noJS/index.php?d=prev&url=https://isopod.cool/"><</a><a href="https://yesterweb.org/webring/">yester webring</a><a href="https://webring.yesterweb.org/noJS/index.php?d=rand&url=https://isopod.cool/">?</a><a href="https://webring.yesterweb.org/noJS/index.php?d=next&https://isopod.cool/">></a> -->
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<a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/niceopod/previous"><</a><i><a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/">hotline webring</a></i><a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/niceopod/next">></a> <a href="https://melonland.net/surf-club.html">melonring</a><a href="https://brain.melonking.net/surf-club-random">?</a>
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</nav>
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<!--script type="text/javascript">document.write('<a href="desktop.html">$login<span class="blinking" >_</span></a>');</script-->
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</main>
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<div id="guys">
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<a target="_blank" href="https://dokodemo.neocities.org/" title="made by Dokodemo"><img alt="An isopod!" src="images/isopod3.png"/></a>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://wobble.town/visit/93" title="charles"><img alt="Charles" src="https://wobble.town/visit/93/wobble.gif" style="width: 64px; image-rendering: pixelated; filter:hue-rotate(20deg) brightness(110%) drop-shadow(2px 2px 3px black);"/></a>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://lu.tiny-universes.net" title="hi, i'm kevin!"><img alt="Kevin" src="images/plant1-2.png"/></a>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://newlambda.neocities.org/" title="benlet"><img alt="benlet" src="images/benlet1.png" style="width: 32px; image-rendering: pixelated;"/></a>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://www.pixelcatsend.com/profile&id=3734" title="Shadow"><img alt="Shadow" src="images/shadow.png" style="image-rendering: pixelated;"/></a>
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</div>
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<div id="rightsidebg" style="background-image: url(images/bg.png); --distancefromcenter: 11%;" title="Pictured: The eponymous "deep twisty""></div>
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<div id="bubblecolumn"></div>
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<?php include('chromealert.php'); ?>
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<?php
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if(date("w") == "5" && rand(0, 9) == 4) {
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$ind = rand(1,2);
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$filename = "images/flatworm friday $ind.mp4";
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echo "<div id='flatwormfriday' style='position: absolute;left: 0;right: 0;top: 0;bottom: 0;background: #000000cc;display: flex;justify-content: center;align-items: center;'><video controls=''><source src='$filename' type='video/mp4'>It's Flatworm Friday! Your browser does not support the video tag.</video><span style='position: absolute; left: 1rem; bottom: 1rem;'>Refresh the page to close this</span></div>";
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}
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?>
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</body>
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</html>
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