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<! DOCTYPE html >
< html lang = " en " >
< head >
< meta charset = " utf-8 " />
< link href = " style.css " rel = " stylesheet " type = " text/css " media = " all " />
< style type = " text/css " >
body {
margin - top : 0 ;
margin - bottom : 0 ;
}
#guys {
position : fixed ;
bottom : 0 ;
left : 3 rem ;
font - size : 0 ;
}
#guys > * {
margin - right : 0.5 rem ;
}
#bubblecolumn {
position : absolute ;
right : 7 % ;
top : 0 ;
width : 29 px ;
height : 100 % ;
background - image : url ( images / bubblecolumn1 . gif );
background - repeat : repeat - y ;
}
@ media ( prefers - reduced - motion ) {
#bubblecolumn {
display : none ;
}
}
</ style >
< ? php
include ( $_SERVER [ 'DOCUMENT_ROOT' ] . '/seasonal.php' );
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if ( ! preg_match ( '/(headless.*)/i' , $_SERVER [ 'HTTP_USER_AGENT' ])) {
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$captions = array ();
$seasonal = false ;
switch ( date ( 'm' )) {
case 10 :
$captions = array (
'Boo!' ,
'Happy Halloween!' ,
'World\'s ' . rand ( 1 , 1000000 ) . 'th spookiest website' ,
'$spooky_captions[array_rand($spooky_captions)]' ,
'I thought I\'d be able to come up with more Halloween captions to be honest' ,
'It\'s the Spooky Month™!' ,
'I vant to suck your blood! Just kidding... Unless...?' ,
'This site uses $_HALLOWEEN_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT'
);
$seasonal = true ;
break ;
case 12 :
$captions = array (
'hoe hoe hoe or some shit' ,
'Happy Holidays!' ,
'World\'s ' . rand ( 1 , 1000000 ) . 'th most festive website' ,
'Like half of these captions are just lifted wholesale from the Halloween ones' ,
'$festive_captions[array_rand($festive_captions)]' ,
'Merry Capitalism!' ,
'It\'s winter! Nothing else special about this time of year, no siree!' ,
'This site uses $_CHRISTMAS_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT... I guess that would just be normal cookies, huh?' ,
'Pretend I put Mariah Carey on autoplay here'
);
$seasonal = true ;
break ;
default :
$captions = array (
'bruh moment' ,
'Try reloading!' ,
'Supports VPNs' ,
'I use arch btw' ,
'Stream deep twisty' ,
'MySite.html' ,
'Over Construction' ,
'Real isopod hours' ,
'Version 3.0: the Not-Reliant-On-Javascript Update' ,
'depytwisty' ,
'[object Object]' ,
'* You found the [Moss]!' ,
'Minceraft' ,
'Best viewed with Firefox' ,
'Isopod gaming' ,
'Website of some "guy"' ,
'your mom' ,
'Badly programmed' ,
'Fuck crypto' ,
'Oh, you know ;)' ,
'gamer (terminal)' ,
'This is not a place of honor' ,
'I can type interrobangs, watch‽' ,
'ඞ' ,
'127.0.0.1' ,
'assholes DNI' ,
'swag' ,
'\'\'' ,
'$captions[array_rand($captions)]' ,
'NFT bros don\'t FUCKING interact' ,
'Kind of dragon free!' ,
'This site uses cookies (chocolate chip)' ,
'Now with reduced centralization!' ,
'your gay' ,
'the fuck is a gender' ,
'The Only Website' ,
'𝓘 𝓷 𝓪 𝓬 𝓬 𝓮 𝓼 𝓼 𝓲 𝓫 𝓵 𝓮 ,
'Follow me on Google+!' ,
'404: caption not found' ,
'Web π compliant!' ,
'If you\'re seeing this, something is seriously wrong.' ,
'cringe' ,
'don\'t smoke cigarettes kids they\'ll make your lungs sus' ,
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'real life isopod' ,
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'' ,
'vewified' ,
'Verified' ,
'COUNTER' ,
'TUEADAY' ,
'PLACEHIM' ,
'UPSIDEDOWN' ,
'RGB' ,
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'BLAHAJ' ,
'@BEAT'
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);
break ;
}
$cap = $captions [ array_rand ( $captions )];
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if ( $_GET [ 'caption' ]) {
$cap = $_GET [ 'caption' ];
}
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$tit = $cap ;
if ( ! $seasonal ) {
switch ( $cap ) {
case 'COUNTER' :
$num = ( int ) filter_var ( file_get_contents ( " views.txt " ), FILTER_SANITIZE_NUMBER_INT );
$num ++ ;
file_put_contents ( " views.txt " , $num );
$cap = " This caption has been viewed $num times! " ;
$tit = " This title has been viewed $num times! " ;
break ;
case 'TUEADAY' :
$day = array ( " suday " , " moday " , " tueaday " , " weaday " , " thuday " , " friaday " , " satuaday " )[ date ( 'w' )];
$cap = " wait it's fucking $day . god. " ;
$tit = $cap ;
echo " <style type='text/css'>h1 { background-image:url('old/1/images/ $day .png');}</style> " ;
break ;
case 'PLACEHIM' :
$cap = 'place him on your site immediately' ;
$tit = $cap ;
echo " <style type='text/css'>h1 { background-image:url('images/place_him.png');}</style> " ;
break ;
case 'BLAHAJ' :
$cap = '<img id="blahaj" src="images/blahaj.png"> <a href="https://berrymot.github.io/">certified</a> Good Website by blåhaj' ;
$tit = " certified Good Website by blåhaj " ;
echo " <style type='text/css'>#blahaj { animation: spin 5s linear infinite; height: 1em; } @keyframes spin { from { transform: rotate(0deg); } to { transform: rotate(360deg); } } @media (prefers-reduced-motion) { #blahaj { animation: none; } }</style> " ;
break ;
case 'Verified' :
$cap = '<img src="https://social.isopod.cool/emoji/isomojis/verified.png" style="height: 1em;"/>' ;
break ;
case 'vewified' :
$cap = '<img src="https://social.isopod.cool/emoji/isomojis/vewified.png" style="height: 1em;"/>' ;
break ;
case 'Kind of dragon free!' :
$cap = '<span class="minecraftsplash">Kind of dragon free!</span>' ;
break ;
case 'UPSIDEDOWN' :
$cap = '<span class="flipped">Upside Down!</span>' ;
$tit = '¡uʍop ǝpı ;
break ;
case 'RGB' :
$cap = '<span class="rainbowtext">RGB Gaming Webpage</span>' ;
$tit = 'RGB Gaming Webpage' ;
break ;
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case '@BEAT' :
$cap = '@' . date ( " B " );
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$tit = $cap ;
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break ;
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}
}
}
?>
< title >< ? php if ( $tit ) { echo " isopod.cool v3 - $tit " ; } else { echo " isopod.cool v3 " ; } ?> </title>
< meta name = " description " content = " real life isopod " >
</ head >
< body id = " centeredcontent " >
< main >
< h1 style = " margin-top: 0; " > isopod . cool v3 </ h1 >
< h2 id = " caption " >< ? php echo $cap ; ?> </h2>
< ? php include ( 'nav.php' ); ?>
< nav >
<!-- a href = " https://webring.yesterweb.org/noJS/index.php?d=prev&url=https://isopod.cool/ " >& lt ; </ a >< a href = " https://yesterweb.org/webring/ " > yester webring </ a >< a href = " https://webring.yesterweb.org/noJS/index.php?d=rand&url=https://isopod.cool/ " > ? </ a >< a href = " https://webring.yesterweb.org/noJS/index.php?d=next&https://isopod.cool/ " >& gt ; </ a >& nbsp ; & nbsp ; -->
< a href = " https://hotlinewebring.club/niceopod/previous " >& lt ; </ a >< i >< a href = " https://hotlinewebring.club/ " > hotline webring </ a ></ i >< a href = " https://hotlinewebring.club/niceopod/next " >& gt ; </ a >& nbsp ; & nbsp ; < a href = " https://melonland.net/surf-club.html " > melonring </ a >< a href = " https://brain.melonking.net/surf-club-random " > ? </ a >
</ nav >
<!-- script type = " text/javascript " > document . write ( '<a href="desktop.html">$login<span class="blinking" >_</span></a>' ); </ script -->
</ main >
< div id = " guys " >
< a target = " _blank " href = " https://dokodemo.neocities.org/ " title = " made by Dokodemo " >< img alt = " An isopod! " src = " images/isopod3.png " /></ a >
< a target = " _blank " href = " https://wobble.town/visit/93 " title = " charles " >< img alt = " Charles " src = " https://wobble.town/visit/93/wobble.gif " style = " width: 64px; image-rendering: pixelated; filter:hue-rotate(20deg) brightness(110%) drop-shadow(2px 2px 3px black); " /></ a >
< a target = " _blank " href = " https://lu.tiny-universes.net " title = " hi, i'm kevin! " >< img alt = " Kevin " src = " images/plant1-2.png " /></ a >
< a target = " _blank " href = " https://newlambda.neocities.org/ " title = " benlet " >< img alt = " benlet " src = " images/benlet1.png " style = " width: 32px; image-rendering: pixelated; " /></ a >
< a target = " _blank " href = " https://www.pixelcatsend.com/profile&id=3734 " title = " Shadow " >< img alt = " Shadow " src = " images/shadow.png " style = " image-rendering: pixelated; " /></ a >
</ div >
< div id = " rightsidebg " style = " background-image: url(images/bg.png); --distancefromcenter: 11%; " title = " Pictured: The eponymous "deep twisty" " ></ div >
< div id = " bubblecolumn " ></ div >
< ? php include ( 'chromealert.php' ); ?>
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< ? php
if ( date ( " w " ) == " 5 " && rand ( 0 , 9 ) == 4 ) {
$ind = rand ( 1 , 2 );
$filename = " images/flatworm friday $ind .mp4 " ;
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echo " <div id='flatwormfriday' style='position: absolute;left: 0;right: 0;top: 0;bottom: 0;background: #000000cc;display: flex;justify-content: center;align-items: center;'><video controls=''><source src=' $filename ' type='video/mp4'>It's Flatworm Friday! Your browser does not support the video tag.</video><span style='position: absolute; left: 1rem; bottom: 1rem;'>Refresh the page to close this</span></div> " ;
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}
?>
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</ body >
</ html >
