207 lines
5.8 KiB
PHP
207 lines
5.8 KiB
PHP
<!DOCTYPE html>
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<html lang="en">
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8">
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
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<title>Stats</title>
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<link href="../style.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all">
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<style>
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#statstable {
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width: 100%;
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border-collapse: collapse;
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}
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#statstable td {
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width: 50%;
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padding: 0.3rem;
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}
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#statstable tr:nth-child(2n+1) {
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background-color: #ffffff11;
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}
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@media only screen and (hover: none) {
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#statstable td {
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width: initial;
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}
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#statstable td:first-child {
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font-weight: bold;
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}
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}
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</style>
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<?php include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/seasonal.php'); ?>
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</head>
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<body>
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<?php include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/nav.php'); ?>
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<h1>stat tracker</h1>
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<h2 id="caption">100% RealTrue™ statistics</h2>
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<table id="statstable">
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<tbody><tr>
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<td>Height</td>
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<td>194cm</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Storage space</td>
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<td>4.9TiB</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Packages</td>
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<td><?php echo file_get_contents("packages.txt"); ?></td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Desktop environment</td>
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<td>XFCE</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Layout</td>
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<td>ANSI 75% + Knob + External numpad</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Switches</td>
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<td>Keychron K Pro Brown</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Firmware</td>
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<td>QMK</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>RGB</td>
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<td>Yes</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>CDs owned</td>
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<td>118</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Consoles modded</td>
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<td>1</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Computers upgraded</td>
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<td>2</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Computers downgraded</td>
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<td>1</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Websites</td>
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<td>2</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Web services</td>
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<td title="Each website is one, plus Akkoma, Calckey, SearXNG, RSS-Bridge, Forgejo, Matrix, and Nextcloud.">9</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Domains owned</td>
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<td title="deeptwisty.com, isopod.cool, isopod.zone, and bathynomus.xyz">4</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Talent</td>
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<td style="font-family: mono; color: red;">[Integer overflow error]</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Bitches</td>
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<td>0</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Species</td>
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<td><i>Bathynomus Giganteus</i></td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Pronouns</td>
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<td>any</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Gender</td>
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<td><?php
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$boogeraids = array(
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'Unclear',
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'404 Not Found',
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'502 Bad Gateway',
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'I dropped it behind the sofa, sorry',
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'invalid null pointer',
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'what does that mean',
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'You fuckin\' figure it out',
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'Not my problem lol',
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'[]',
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'I lost it in the accident',
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'Listed <a href="https://genders.wtf">here</a>',
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'AMD Ryzen 7 5700G, 32GB DDR4-3600 RAM, AMD Radeon RX 6600XT GPU, 500GB NVMe SSD, 1TB SATA SSD, 4TB HDD',
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'I forgor 💀',
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'<i>Bathynomus Giganteus</i>',
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'I\'ll figure it out later'
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);
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echo $boogeraids[array_rand($boogeraids)];
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?></td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>3.5mm headphone jack</td>
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<td>yes</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Audio channels</td>
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<td>mono</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Font family</td>
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<td style="font-family: mono, monospace;">mono</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Sodium glutamate</td>
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<td>7.1 surround</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Drop rates</td>
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<td style="white-space:nowrap;">1-3 bags of Doritos - 80% <br>Wired earbuds - 10% <br>Random Linux install media - 1%</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Efficiency rating</td>
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<td>80+ Gold</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Home address</td>
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<td>12h 28m 24.97s, +31° 28′ 37.7″</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Time playing Space Engineers</td>
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<td>590 hours</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td title="Since this bit was added, anyway">Page views</td>
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<td>
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<?php
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$num = (int) filter_var(file_get_contents("views.txt"), FILTER_SANITIZE_NUMBER_INT);
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$num++;
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file_put_contents("views.txt", $num);
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echo $num;
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?>
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</td>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<?php
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$booger = array(
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"arch",
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"bogos",
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"Hotel",
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"blood"
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);
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$aids = array(
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"btw",
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"binted",
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"Trivago",
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"inside (we think)"
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);
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$poopaids_copy = array_rand($booger);
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$boogeraids = $booger[$poopaids_copy];
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$aidsbooger = $aids[$poopaids_copy];
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echo "<td>$boogeraids</td><td>$aidsbooger</td>";
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?>
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</tr>
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<tr>
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<td>Number I'm thinking of</td>
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<td><?php echo rand(0, 69420); ?></td>
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</tr>
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</tbody></table>
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<div id="leftsidebg" style="background-image: url(bg.png); --distancefromcenter: -10%;" title="Pictured: A graph. I don't know what it's measuring. I hope the top line's the housing market."></div>
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<?php include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/chromealert.php'); ?>
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</body>
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</html>
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