337 lines
13 KiB
PHP
337 lines
13 KiB
PHP
<!DOCTYPE html>
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<html lang="en">
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8">
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
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<link href="style.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all">
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<style>
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body {
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margin-top: 0;
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margin-bottom: 0;
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}
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#guys {
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position: fixed;
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bottom: 0;
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left: 3rem;
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font-size: 0;
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}
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#guys > * {
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margin-right: 0.5rem;
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}
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#bubblecolumn {
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position: absolute;
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right: 7%;
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top: 0;
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width: 29px;
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height: 100%;
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background-image: url(images/bubblecolumn1.gif);
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background-repeat: repeat-y;
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}
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main {
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height: 100%;
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display: flex;
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justify-content: center;
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align-items: center;
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}
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#webrings {
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display: grid;
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grid-template-columns: auto auto;
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gap: 1rem;
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}
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#webrings > div {
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display: flex;
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align-items: center;
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justify-content: center;
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}
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#webrings > div > * {
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margin: 0 1rem;
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white-space: nowrap;
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}
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#bucketfish, .bflink {
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--red: #ffcaca;
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--orange: #ffedc1;
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--yellow: #feffb8;
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--green: #c4ffcb;
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--blue: #add8ff;
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--purple: #ccafe9;
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--darkgreen: #3E885B;
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--darkblue: #7fb4f5;
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--background: #454545;
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--rainbowright: linear-gradient(to right, var(--red) 0%, var(--orange) 20%, var(--yellow) 40%, var(--green) 60%, var(--blue) 80%, var(--purple) 100%);
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color: var(--purple);
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display: inline-block;
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position: relative;
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text-decoration: none;
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transition: linear .2s;
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}
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#bucketfish:before, .bflink:before {
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background: var(--rainbowright);
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content: '';
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height: 2px;
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position: absolute;
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bottom: -1.5px;
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width: 100%;
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left: 50%;
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transform: translateX(-50%);
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transition: width 0.2s ease-in-out;
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}
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.bflink:hover {
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color: var(--purple);
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}
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#bucketfish:hover:before, .bflink:hover:before {
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width: 0;
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}
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#bucketfish span {
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animation-delay: var(--n);
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animation: wave 1.5s linear var(--n) infinite forwards running, rainbow 3s linear var(--n) infinite forwards running;
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position: relative;
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}
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#v3 {
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font-size: .5em;
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vertical-align: super;
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white-space: nowrap;
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}
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@media (prefers-reduced-motion) {
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#bubblecolumn {
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display: none;
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}
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#bucketfish span {
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animation: none;
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}
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}
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@media only screen and (hover: none) {
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#rightsidebg {
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box-shadow: none;
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}
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@media (max-width: 43rem) {
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h1 {
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font-size: 13.5vw;
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}
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h1 + h2#caption {
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font-size: 1.1em;
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}
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#webrings {
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grid-template-columns: auto;
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}
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}
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}
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@keyframes wave{
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0% {top: 0px;}
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25% {top: -1px;}
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50% {top: 0px;}
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75% {top: 1px;}
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100% {top: 0px;}
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}
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@keyframes rainbow{
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0% {color: var(--red);}
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17% {color: var(--orange);}
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33% {color: var(--yellow);}
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50% {color: var(--green);}
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67% {color: var(--blue);}
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83% {color: var(--purple);}
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100% {color: var(--red);}
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}
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</style>
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<?php
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include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] . '/seasonal.php');
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if(!preg_match('/(headless.*)/i', $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'])) {
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$captions = array();
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$seasonal = false;
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switch(date('m')) {
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case 10:
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$captions = array(
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'Boo!',
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'Happy Halloween!',
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'World\'s ' . rand(1, 1000000) . 'th spookiest website',
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'$spooky_captions[array_rand($spooky_captions)]',
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'I thought I\'d be able to come up with more Halloween captions to be honest',
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'It\'s the Spooky Month™!',
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'I vant to suck your blood! Just kidding... Unless...?',
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'This site uses $_HALLOWEEN_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT'
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);
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$seasonal = true;
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break;
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case 12:
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$captions = array(
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'hoe hoe hoe or some shit',
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'Happy Holidays!',
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'World\'s ' . rand(1, 1000000) . 'th most festive website',
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'Like half of these captions are just lifted wholesale from the Halloween ones',
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'$festive_captions[array_rand($festive_captions)]',
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'Merry Capitalism!',
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'It\'s winter! Nothing else special about this time of year, no siree!',
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'This site uses $_CHRISTMAS_THEMED_COOKIE_EQUIVALENT... I guess that would just be normal cookies, huh?',
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'Pretend I put Mariah Carey on autoplay here'
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);
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$seasonal = true;
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break;
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default:
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$captions = array(
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'bruh moment',
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'Try reloading!',
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'Supports VPNs',
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'I use arch btw',
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'Stream deep twisty',
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'MySite.html',
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'Over Construction',
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'Real isopod hours',
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'Version 3.0: the Not-Reliant-On-Javascript Update',
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'depytwisty',
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'[object Object]',
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'* You found the [Moss]!',
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'Minceraft',
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'Best viewed with Firefox',
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'Isopod gaming',
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'Website of some "guy"',
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'your mom',
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'Badly programmed',
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'Fuck crypto',
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'Oh, you know ;)',
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'gamer (terminal)',
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'This is not a place of honor',
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'I can type interrobangs, watch‽',
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'ඞ',
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'127.0.0.1',
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'assholes DNI',
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'swag',
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'\'\'',
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'$captions[array_rand($captions)]',
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'NFT bros don\'t FUCKING interact',
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'Kind of dragon free!',
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'This site uses cookies (chocolate chip)',
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'Now with reduced centralization!',
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'your gay',
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'the fuck is a gender',
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'The Only Website',
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'𝓘𝓷𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮!',
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'Follow me on Google+!',
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'404: caption not found',
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'Web π compliant!',
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'If you\'re seeing this, something is seriously wrong.',
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'cringe',
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'don\'t smoke cigarettes kids they\'ll make your lungs sus',
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'real life isopod',
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'',
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'holy fucking bingle',
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'AI generated',
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'vewified',
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'Verified',
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'COUNTER',
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'TUEADAY',
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'PLACEHIM',
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'UPSIDEDOWN',
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'RGB',
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'BLAHAJ',
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'@BEAT'
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);
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break;
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}
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$cap = $captions[array_rand($captions)];
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if($_GET['caption']) {
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$cap = $_GET['caption'];
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}
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$tit = $cap;
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if(!$seasonal) {
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switch($cap) {
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case 'COUNTER':
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$num = (int) filter_var(file_get_contents("views.txt"), FILTER_SANITIZE_NUMBER_INT);
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$num++;
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file_put_contents("views.txt", $num);
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$cap = "This caption has been viewed $num times!";
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$tit = "This title has been viewed $num times!";
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break;
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case 'TUEADAY':
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$day = array("suday", "moday", "tueaday", "weaday", "thuday", "friaday", "satuaday")[date('w')];
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$cap = "wait it's fucking $day. god.";
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$tit = $cap;
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echo "<style type='text/css'>h1{background-image:url('old/1/images/$day.png');}</style>";
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break;
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case 'PLACEHIM':
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$cap = 'place him on your site immediately';
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$tit = $cap;
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echo "<style type='text/css'>h1{background-image:url('images/place_him.png');}</style>";
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break;
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case 'BLAHAJ':
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$cap = '<img id="blahaj" src="images/blahaj.png"> <a href="https://berrymot.github.io/">certified</a> Good Website by blåhaj';
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$tit = "certified Good Website by blåhaj";
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echo "<style type='text/css'>#blahaj { animation: spin 5s linear infinite; height: 1em; } @keyframes spin { from { transform: rotate(0deg); } to { transform: rotate(360deg); } } @media (prefers-reduced-motion) { #blahaj { animation: none; } }</style>";
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break;
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case 'Verified':
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$cap = '<img src="https://social.isopod.cool/emoji/isomojis/verified.png" style="height: 1em;"/>';
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break;
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case 'vewified':
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$cap = '<img src="https://social.isopod.cool/emoji/isomojis/vewified.png" style="height: 1em;"/>';
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break;
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case 'Kind of dragon free!':
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$cap = '<span class="minecraftsplash">Kind of dragon free!</span>';
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break;
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case 'UPSIDEDOWN':
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$cap = '<span class="flipped">Upside Down!</span>';
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$tit = '¡uʍop ǝpısdn';
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break;
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case 'RGB':
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$cap = '<span class="rainbowtext">RGB Gaming Webpage</span>';
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$tit = 'RGB Gaming Webpage';
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break;
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case '@BEAT':
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$cap = '@'.date("B");
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$tit = $cap;
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break;
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}
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}
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}
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?>
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<title><?php if($tit) { echo "isopod.cool v3 - $tit"; } else { echo "isopod.cool v3"; } ?></title>
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<meta name="description" content="real life isopod">
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</head>
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<body>
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<?php include('nav.php'); ?>
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<main>
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<div>
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<h1 style="margin-top: 0;">isopod.cool<span id="v3">v3</span></h1>
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<h2 id="caption"><?php echo $cap; ?></h2>
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<nav id="webrings">
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<div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-weight: bold;">
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<a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/bathynomus/previous" style="color: white; text-decoration: none;">←</a>
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<i><a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/" style="color: white; text-decoration: none;">HOTLINE WEBRING</a></i>
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<a href="https://hotlinewebring.club/bathynomus/next" style="color: white; text-decoration: none;">→</a>
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</div>
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<div>
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<a href="https://melonland.net/surf-club.html" style="color: #ff74ff;"><span style="color: #e7ad59;">melon</span><span style="color: #c0ea32;">ring</span></a>
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<a href="https://brain.melonking.net/surf-club-random" style="color: #ff74ff;"><span style="color: #864cff;">?</span></a>
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</div>
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<div>
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<a href="https://webring.bucketfish.me/redirect.html?to=prev&name=isopod" class="bflink">⥼</a>
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<a href="https://webring.bucketfish.me" id="bucketfish"><span style="--n:-10000ms;">b</span><span style="--n:-9900ms;">u</span><span style="--n:-9800ms;">c</span><span style="--n:-9700ms;">k</span><span style="--n:-9600ms;">e</span><span style="--n:-9500ms;">t</span><span style="--n:-9400ms;"> </span><span style="--n:-9300ms;">w</span><span style="--n:-9200ms;">e</span><span style="--n:-9100ms;">b</span><span style="--n:-9000ms;">r</span><span style="--n:-8900ms;">i</span><span style="--n:-8800ms;">n</span><span style="--n:-8700ms;">g</span></a>
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<a href="https://webring.bucketfish.me/redirect.html?to=next&name=isopod" class="bflink">⥽</a>
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</div>
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</nav>
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</div>
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<!--script type="text/javascript">document.write('<a href="desktop.html">$login<span class="blinking" >_</span></a>');</script-->
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</main>
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<div id="guys">
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<a target="_blank" href="https://dokodemo.neocities.org/" title="made by Dokodemo"><img alt="An isopod!" src="images/isopod3.png"></a>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://wobble.town/visit/93" title="charles"><img alt="Charles" src="https://wobble.town/visit/93/wobble.gif" style="width: 64px; image-rendering: pixelated; filter:hue-rotate(20deg) brightness(110%) drop-shadow(2px 2px 3px black);"></a>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://lu.tiny-universes.net" title="hi, i'm kevin!"><img alt="Kevin" src="images/plant1-2.png"></a>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://newlambda.neocities.org/" title="benlet"><img alt="benlet" src="images/benlet1.png" style="width: 32px; image-rendering: pixelated;"></a>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://www.pixelcatsend.com/profile&id=3734" title="Shadow"><img alt="Shadow" src="images/shadow.png" style="image-rendering: pixelated;"></a>
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</div>
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<div id="rightsidebg" style="background-image: url(images/bg.png); --distancefromcenter: 11%;" title="Pictured: The eponymous "deep twisty""></div>
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<div id="bubblecolumn"></div>
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<?php include('chromealert.php'); ?>
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<?php
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if(date("w") == "5" && rand(0, 9) == 4) {
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$ind = rand(1,2);
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$filename = "images/flatworm friday $ind.mp4";
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echo "<div id='flatwormfriday' style='position: absolute;left: 0;right: 0;top: 0;bottom: 0;background: #000000cc;display: flex;justify-content: center;align-items: center;'><video controls=''><source src='$filename' type='video/mp4'>It's Flatworm Friday! Your browser does not support the video tag.</video><span style='position: absolute; left: 1rem; bottom: 1rem;'>Refresh the page to close this</span></div>";
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}
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?>
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</body>
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</html>
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